It has taken me a while to arrive at my own definition of confidence.

I observed people operating as if confidence consisted of exercising power over others. That definition of confidence was certainly not a fit for me. 

The traditional definition of confidence is a state of being certain. This was not a fit for me, either.

Most women do not strive for a state of being certain, nor do they strive to exert power over others. Neither mode is in our nature. It's feminine nature to want to connect with others and confide in others when making decisions.

So what makes us successful as women? I believe it is the way we move through the world. It is a way of being.

Regardless of what activity or job we might be engaged in, underlying all of that is a state from which we operate. For me, it took years to find that state that I could operate from, knowing that no matter what the activity, I was worthy, what I had to share mattered.

I finally arrived at this state when I decided to became acutely conscious of each decision I made, in relation both to family and to business. That meant having the right intentions and knowing from deep within that I was doing the right thing. From that moment on, my state has grown.

I have also noticed that many women have achieved this state, even when they choose to play in what is often a man's world, and that this state of being is different for each woman. There is no right or wrong. My state is playful, loving, honest, open, connective, grateful with a willingness to give, and full of wonder.

What's your state? What is the place from which you can move through your world, both business and personal, and never falter? Do you operate from that state no matter the challenges you face?

When you are firmly grounded in your state, even when someone is mad at you or you are not sure what to do next, there will be a great power that comes from deep within you. From this place, you can guide your family and your business. You can find what makes you happy and what doesn't. When you live in this state, you will find that people won't discount you. They will value what you say. Not because you have power "over" them or because you have more certitude, but because you know that you matter.

Some might call this confidence. I prefer to call it my state of grace.

ONYX COALE is a single mom of three daughters. Relatively new to network marketing (six years), her organization has over 300,000 people and spans over ten countries. Onyx lives in Florida and enjoys connecting with people of all walks of life.