Most of us decide to become professional network marketers because at the core, we want to serve. We are idealists who believe that we have a better way to make a difference on this planet through our companies.
But even idealists have rough days. One more “no.” One more snide comment about a “pyramid scheme.” One more roll of the eyes. Of course, the upside is worth it. We have seen and experienced the highs and that is why we keep trudging on. That one positive testimonial posted on Facebook. The phone call from a team member thanking us for not giving up on her. The mom who just quit her J-O-B so that she could stay home and make her dream come true. Those are the little miracles that spark us into moving forward.
How do you love what you do when you are learning and perhaps struggling to build your business and your team? We humans do not like to feel the discomfort of incompetence. In fact, that is a big reason why people quit.
Think about the last time you did something for the first time. It required being uncomfortable. Doing something new makes us feel like a little kid, conjuring up all sorts of stories about our childhood. It is hard on us emotionally and our ego hates the feeling of incompetence!
In the beginning you just have to get used to feeling like a fish out of water. It’s okay, this too shall pass. Baby steps, baby. As you practice, you will begin to develop the skills to take you to the next level. You will watch your confidence grow, you will feel happier, you will be more energized and empowered.
In return, you will have more juice to help your team. Your competence will increase your confidence, which will increase your success. Every time you conquer something that was hard, it will benefit all areas of your life, not just your network marketing business. Acknowledge your progress and don’t look for perfection.
We women are often most compassionate with others and hardest on ourselves. We forget that first, we need to practice self-love, which encompasses self-compassion, self-care, and setting boundaries.
When you are feeling discouraged or overwhelmed, take a timeout. Get up and take a break. Take a walk, go play with the dog, go to the gym, do some yoga. Get out of your head by moving your body. You can also take a timeout by lifting your attitude. Read your favorite blog or book. Listen to a podcast or watch a TED talk. Little things like these can make a huge difference. We have created a culture of people who work 60 hours a week on 6 hours of sleep a night who go to bed with their cell phones on their nightstand. And we think this is normal. It is not normal or healthy. People are sick, burnt out, pissed off, and exhausted. We must practice self-care.
How do you love what you do when you feel you have lost your sense of “self”? This can happen when you have created a team that is rocking and rolling—and it can be a very exciting time. But along the way, you may have forgotten (or never put in place) some habitual self-care. Schedule on your calendar important things like: exercise, your spiritual practice or church, girls/guys night out, family time, recreation time, and vacation time. Dr. Stephen R. Covey says, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
This leads into another area of self-care: setting boundaries. This profession can be all-encompassing if we allow it. Some people derive their self-value from being all things to everybody. This will only work for a period of time. Then, inevitably, the house of cards must crash. People get sick, resentful, angry, or just crumble under the weight and quit.
Also, if you are used to doing everything yourself, then you probably aren’t seeing much duplication on your team. At some point you must start telling them where to find the information instead of doing it for them. Teach and train, but do not do it for them, because it might be easier in the moment but it will be hard to keep up.
As leaders, we must learn to instill healthy boundaries. I quickly established the boundary of “Sunday’s off” when we first got started. We also have a “no phone during dinner and while socializing with friends or family” rule. I could see that as our team grew domestically and internationally, we needed some set down time. You can model hard work to your kids and family, but it is equally important to model self-care.
It’s also respectful to your friends and family to be truly present, especially for short times like dinners. Tom and I use a “code phrase” when one of us is paying more attention to the phone than to the person. It is from the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young lyric… “Love the one you’re with.” With a whisper, we remind each other of the people in the room instead of being immersed in our “virtual” life. You will find that with some simple boundaries, you will feel lighter, freer, and happier.
When you are practicing self-care and have more balance—physically, mentally, and spiritually—then you will grow professionally. You will start to experience more ease in your life. You will get more done with less effort. You will be more joyful and inspired, and miraculous things will happen in your business. Then you will be reminded, time and time again, how much you love your work, because it is your calling.
DENICE CHENAULT and her husband Tom are 7-figure earners in their network marketing company of 18 years. A communications major trained in group facilitation and personal development, Denice believes network marketing is the only profession where women can create a life they love with very little startup cost, no overhead, no boss, all while utilizing their innate skills. Denice is a student of Martha Beck Life Coach Training and loves empowering, inspiring, and coaching women.