Women and men have been seeking more work/life balance for decades and this desire is certainly why many decide to build a network marketing/direct sales business. Who wouldn’t love a career that gives you a great income and more family time, the opportunity to travel, or the flexibility to get involved in causes or hobbies that bring you joy?
Even though this business opportunity is one of the best options we have for creating financial and lifestyle success, many network marketers still aren’t feeling that sense of balance and fulfillment they had hoped for. Why not?
They haven’t got their personal needs met—yet.
What exactly is a “personal need” and what does this have to do with creating balance in your life?
A personal need is simply something you need in order to be at your best—to feel safe, loved, or happy. All humans have personal needs, and depending on how you were socialized, some needs will feel more important to you than others.
For example, if you grew up in an environment where money was scarce or things were unpredictable, you may have a strong personal need for security. Until that need gets met in your life, you don’t feel quite at peace.
If you excelled in school or sports as a child and received lots of positive attention for doing so, chances are you’ve developed a strong personal need to achieve. If you aren’t achieving things in your life, you likely don’t feel at your best.
For women, one of the most common needs we develop through our upbringing is the need for approval. If you grew up in an environment where gaining the approval of your family and others was encouraged, this would likely be a strong personal need for you as well.
We are wired to do all we can to get our personal needs met.
Even if you aren’t conscious of what your personal needs are, your subconscious mind is making decisions and guiding your actions in an effort to get your personal needs met. (If you were a car, imagine your personal needs sitting in the driver’s seat, making the majority of decisions about where you’re headed next).
There is nothing wrong with having personal needs, and they can certainly bring about some very positive experiences in our lives. Our unmet needs become problematic when we don’t know what they are, or how to get them met in a conscious and direct ways. When ignored, our needs can become so pressing that they sabotage our success and derail us from making choices that lead to a happier and more balanced life.
For example, I’ve worked with several leaders in network marketing who have built large teams, are generating multiple-six- and even seven-figure incomes a year, and by most people’s definition of success, have arrived.
Yet some of these very accomplished men and women still have no balance in their lives. They often work longer hours than they did in their previous careers, and even though they have the option to take a vacation or spend time with their families, they feel they can’t. Contrary to what their lives look like on the outside, their personal needs to achieve, to feel secure, to please, or be approved haven’t been met inside, so they feel compelled to work harder. They are constantly trying to change things on the outside in order to feel more peaceful inside, but their focus is in the wrong place.
Unmet needs are also one of the main reasons many of us aren’t experiencing more growth in our business. For example, if you have a strong personal need for approval, you may find it hard to share your business opportunity with more people as the experience of being rejected is too painful. Or, you may find yourself not being able to say no to others, or wasting valuable time with the “wrong” people on your team because you don’t want to risk disappointing anyone.
Until you know what your personal needs are, having more balance in your life is (pretty much) impossible.
Your needs will continue to drive you to overwork, not take care of yourself, put others before yourself (more than is healthy), and slow down your business growth.
Here’s the good news. You can find out exactly what your personal needs are and get them fully met in such a way they will no longer control your choices or behavior. When this happens, instead of your decisions and actions being driven by your unmet needs, you’ll start living from your values.
Your values (connection, courage, fun, adventure, love, contribution, beauty, leadership, and so on) are an expression of who you really are, while your unmet personal needs keep you from being who you are.
When you live a life aligned with your values, you’ll find business and personal success happens organically, and you’ll also experience a profound sense of balance and fulfillment. Instead of struggling to create a business and lifestyle you love, you’ll find yourself accomplishing what you want with grace and ease. Balance is no longer something you strive for, it’s something you live naturally every day.
To discover your own unique set of personal needs, and how to meet them so they no longer sabotage your success and work/life balance, download a free assessment at www.NetworkingTimes.com/link/personalneedsassessment. You will learn three important ways to get your needs met: 1. Awareness is the first step; 2. Collect evidence to prove to yourself your needs are already being met; 3. Create an environment to automatically feed your needs.
SONIA STRINGER is a professional speaker, coach, and founder of Savvy Network Marketing Women, an online community that supports over 90,000 women in network marketing/direct sales to make more money and a bigger difference in the world. Get a free copy of Sonia’s Six-Figure Success Secrets for Network Marketing Women audio at SavvyNetworkMarketingWomen.com