Did you give up on dating and marriage the first time things didn’t turn out the way you expected? Do we give up when our first date turns out to be a frog wearing the king’s clothes? Of course not! Most of us keep soldiering on, weeding through the good dates, the bad dates, then one day falling in love.
Remember The Dating Game, that television show with Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3? The Dating Game gave us only three doors, but network marketing gives us as many doors as we want—and we get to open them all. None of us knows behind which door lies the big prize. Whether we’re looking for a partner in business or in life, we must keep knocking and opening doors.
Network Marketing Is Like Dating
When we meet someone we want to date, a chemical reaction ensues. We get excited and life becomes hopeful. We feel euphoric and become unstoppable. We can’t wait to jump out of bed, shower up, and show up. Everything seems right with the world.
A similar thing happens when we start our network marketing business. We are hopeful and excited. Life is grand—until we hear our first no. What happens if a few nos pile up or our new business partner stops showing up? What happens when doubt and fear become bigger than our dreams?
Sometimes the ideal partner walks into our lives right from the start, but in most cases we have to weed through many to find a treasure. In order to find one, two, or three power partners for our business, we find ourselves shaking hands with many who never measure up to what we are looking for. The trick is to keep knocking on doors until we find those few who are going to go the distance with us.
How do we keep up our positive energy when building a team gets tough? What can we do to stay happy and excited? Let’s take a quick look at what is happening at an neurophysiological level.
Remember the excitement that came with that first crush? Staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring? Getting that first text? The excitement you felt at the possibility that this could be the one?
Do you remember the disappointment you felt sometimes when nothing happened—no call, no text? Or, maybe after a couple of dates, he disappeared—just when you thought things were going so well? Then one day that special someone came along—and everything exploded into fireworks, and dreams came true.
Just like falling in love, bringing on a new business partner is exciting. We are happy and hopeful this person is going to be the one to make the big difference. We experience a neurophysiological response known as bonding, which releases oxytocin and lifts us to a natural high.
A stark contrast to this excitement is the disappointment we feel when that special someone we just brought into our business doesn’t show up for work or stops returning our phone calls. This disruption in the bonding process suddenly interrupts the flow of oxytocin, causing an emotional letdown that can lead to discouragement, grief, and blame. The key here is to understand that, for us women, these neurophysiological reactions we are experiencing can be overwhelming.
What can we do? How do we learn to ride the wave of our emotions? How do we cope and move ourselves toward success? How do we keep ourselves from wanting to give up?
Here are seven ways to cope with rejection and loss of business partners:
1. Allow yourself to heal. Too often, we tell ourselves to “be strong” and keep our feelings inside. Don’t fall for it. Give yourself a short grieving period to let it out, and then quickly move on. Whether we care to admit it or not, that new business partner did mean a great deal to us and to our future. Honor the partnership that was shared by validating the relationship as a worthwhile experience. Know that efforts to grow yourself and your business will pay off—if you create momentum and keep going.
2. Engage in personal growth practices. Develop emotional resilience and self-confidence by reading self-help books and listening to audios. Do your income-producing activities and leave room for self-discovery.
3. Build support systems and mobilize uplines. Reaching out to affirming friends is essential. Vent your emotions while sorting out how to get back on track. Share the experience and what you learned from it.
4. Spend time each day doing something fun. Enjoy your life while some components of it are getting back on track. Make your business fun. Bring to mind the successful periods in your life and how they felt, then plug those memories into that hole of negativity and rejection.
5. Take positive action and keep your funnel full. Always be talking to new people and promoting your business and products.
6. Dream. Resurrect old dreams and dream new dreams. Find your passion and reconnect with your why.
Believe in yourself. It all starts with you. Reframe your experience and refocus your thoughts. Adjust your perception: your challenges are not bigger than you.
Many prospects and business partners will come your way. Some will sign up and never show up, some will be with you for a short while, and some will be with you forever. And some are just not that into you or your business. Hasn’t that been your experience with relationships and dating?
Growing any business is hard work. Rejection is something we all will experience. Learn how to handle the disappointments. Stay in control of your emotions. Ride the big wave of excitement, but don’t let the wave of discouragement send you crashing into the beach. Plowing through is where dreams begin to become reality. Say yes to asking, seeking, and knocking on every door. You never know who will be standing behind the next one.
DEBI GRANITE owned a retail store, had a film and television career,
owned a film production company, and was a part of several successful
start-ups before she became a network marketing professional.
Today she is a top earner in her company who helps people reinvent
their lives by stimulating economic recovery.