There was once a man who thought he could make a fortune in network marketing. However, it was not as easy as he thought it would be. After collecting his first requisite round of no's, he began to question himself.

"Why," he asked, "can I not do this?"

He talked himself out of success by searching for his inadequacies.

The problem with asking why something cannot happen or why you cannot do something is that you might get an answer. The man described above got exactly what he was looking for. He found a multitude of reasons why he was unable to succeed. A competent individual, he was not lacking in aptitude or intelligence; he derailed his own success with thinking that led him off track.

Sometimes our problem is that we are asking the wrong questions. Patterns of thought become habitual and can develop into insidious beliefs by virtue of the fact that you "hear" them over and over. If you ask yourself enough times why you are incapable of doing something, you will find answers. What you tell yourself all day long will make or break your successes, your failures, your number of enrollments, and ultimately your bottom line.

Ask Productive Questions

The top earners in network marketing are those individuals most aligned with successful thinking. Our positive thoughts act as mental fuel. We talk ourselves into (or out of) the successful completion of each presentation and each enrollment.

In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill emphasizes the use of positive thinking to create positive results. This includes positive asking. If you see someone whose success you admire, notice your thoughts in response. Right thinking would prompt questions like this:

"What would it take for me to train a team the way she does?"

"What changes can I make to attract a higher caliber of associates?"

"How can I become more influential?"

Here are some questions you want to avoid:

"Why does he get all of the good prospects and I don't?"

"I have worked just as hard as she has. What is wrong with me?"

"Why am I not a Diamond Director yet?"

The people whose success you want to emulate have thoughts that attract at a different level than the average person. They think more productively and ask more self-empowering questions as a way to achieve more.

Coming up with reasons why you can't do what they do is sheer folly. You are making those reasons up, thus creating resistance between where you are and where you want to be.

Avoid selling yourself on your lack of ability. There is nothing wrong with you. Get that in your head. You have everything you need to succeed.

The difference between wannabes and those who succeed is that the latter have asked "How do I get there?" questions, while the former are likely asking "Why can't I?" questions. And even when it is not that simple, you can at least cause significant change by getting a handle on self-indulgent thinking and choosing thoughts that serve you better.

No Pity Party

Everybody in this business will experience no-shows, flaky people, and attrition in their organizations. If you want to be more like those you deem more successful than yourself, you must make your story less about those problems and more about what you are creating. The bad news is that those things will happen; the good news, that you can control your response to them.

Each of us is special and unique. Everybody brings strengths and challenges to the table. If you want to celebrate your uniqueness, focus on what talents you bring to your business. It doesn't serve you to identify those areas that need improvement as what makes you special. Instead, learn to improve your "lesser strengths" to expedite your pathway to success. Work on self-improvement while maintaining a positive mindset. The people you most admire have gone through this same process.

If you want a bigger organization, more money, and the recognition that comes with a higher leadership level, focusing on your capabilities and working on yourself are the ticket.

Compare the following two scenarios.

Scenario 1: You just got stood up. You go into a meeting with your upline and you unload your frustration. You are invested in having others feel bad with you and for you. You bring attention to yourself because of this crummy thing that you think happened to you. You ask, "why me?" and get stuck in the victim role.

Scenario 2: You just got stood up. When your prospect did not show up, you asked yourself what would be the best use of this newfound time. Your gratitude for the situation exactly as it turned out serves to brighten the rest of your day. You walk into a room of associates with a smile on your face and remark how fortunate you are to have had the chance to catch up on your email while waiting. You suspect that the person who didn't show must have had something come up, or perhaps he is not right for your organization. You'll find out when you follow up. You redirect your attention to the present and are happy about the next opportunity that awaits you. You rightfully realize that nothing happened to you; you are well organized in your thoughts and in charge of your emotions.

When you become the person who feels good about yourself and you are committed to helping others feel good with you, the entire universe will cooperate to place new opportunities and people in front of you. Ask questions that empower you to ever greater possibilities. Imbed in your questions and thoughts the widest range of positive outcomes. Open the way to higher accomplishments with positive thoughts.

And ask carefully—because you will find what you are looking for.

ROSIE BANK is the founder of Manifesting
Vision International. She is a seasoned network
marketer, speaker, and trainer. Rosie is the author
You, Inc., Own Your Business, Own Your Life
through Network Marketing.