It’s been said that: “Before you can do something, you have to first be something.” It’s true.

We can’t give to others something we don’t have ourselves. If we are to be good leaders and coaches, we must lead others by example.

Being a good leader and coach is much more than achieving business success. It’s about living a happy, balanced and controlled life as well.

I personally know many successful people who earn millions each year, but are always traveling, working 16-hour days and putting up with things that constantly annoy them. They are making the big money—but they’re basically miserable! They have forgotten what they were working for in the first place: peace of mind, freedom and joy.

Do you want that kind of life?

Studies today suggest that to have genuine, authentic happiness, we need to have an abundance of pleasure, business engagement and life meaning.

We need balance in our lives.


“Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

So how do we go about living a happy, balanced life? How do we coach others to have balance as well as success in their lives?

We begin by examining our own lives, going on a journey of self-discovery to find out what are the blocks to our own happiness.

Let’s begin our journey with a few basic “business” questions to give you an example of how this might be affecting you:

Okay, okay, I know, it’s been a tough road. And I’ll bet that you know lots of reasons why you can’t bring yourself to do the things you know you ought to be doing.

Or do you?

In the profession of coaching there’s a term called “Energy Sappers.” What’s that?

Ask yourself these questions:

Yep, our energy level is sapped.

We can never operate in business at our full potential and lead a balanced and successful life when certain things (and people) are continually draining our energy.

Try this exercise, recommended by celebrity coach Cheryl Richardson.


Energy-Unsapping Exercise #1

Sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax.

Notice where your energy flows.

What are you worried about? Is your energy taking you back to someone that made you angry last week? What have you been “meaning to take care of”? Have you prepared your will? Are you paying your fair share of taxes? Are you concerned about something in the future? Is there a conversation you need to have with your boss? With a friend? With a relative?

Notice what gets your attention and steals your precious energy.

Now: imagine that you can actually handle each one of these “tolerations” and eliminate them from your life completely.

Do you know what will happen then?

You’ll have more energy, freedom and a more exciting life. You’ll create more space in your life that will make room for more opportunities, better relationships, greater success in your business and (yes) a more balanced life.

We all have the ability to attract the things in life we really want: the relationships, wealth, love, and ability to influence and impact others.

We all have our own natural power and energy. We just need to know how to tap into it, that’s all!

So, how do you begin to remove the things from your life that sap your energy level? Here’s a start:


Energy-Unsapping Exercise #2

Make up a written list of every irritation, annoyance or toleration you can think of. (Most people can come up with over 100.)

Now narrow this down to the top ten.

Then, slowly begin to eliminate them, one at a time. Then repeat the process.

Sometimes you can group them and eliminate several at once. For example, you change companies or leave a bad relationship that will eliminate stress, sarcastic remarks, criticisms, hype and yelling.

Here’s a list of Energy Sappers that we suggest you ponder:

Learning to live a happy, balanced life is the foundation of being a powerful, effective coach—and just think of the fringe benefits!


HILTON JOHNSON is on the faculty of Networking University;
to learn more about the skills described in this article, visit
Hilton’s Networking University Webinars or go to